5 MADE UP STORIES ABOUT COWS

HEY THIS GUY BULL#@&*^$%"S BETTER THAN YOU EDGAR!
"BRING IT ON CHAUNCY"
Five made-up stories about cowsPosted on August 13th, 2007 by John Cow

A big cow
The largest cow in the world was super-sized Maureen who measured over 14 feet in length in Kentucky in 2002. Maureen was the result of selective cow breeding and was fed on genetically modified grass. At over seven feet tall and weighing almost two tons, Maureen scored a number of cameo appearances in Jackie Chan movies before her death in 2005.
An old cow
The oldest cow in the world, named Betty, lived to be more than 100 years old. Betty, from Houston, Texas, was fed on a diet of plum tomatoes and corn by her owners Ted and Dorris Whitewater. Born in 1894, betty was passed on from generation to generation until her death in a motorcross accident in 1995 at the age of 101. Ted and Dorris’ farm was being used for a junior motorcross event when Betty wondered from her enclosure and onto the motorcross track where she had a heart attack and died instantly. Ted and Dorris were said to be devastated. “She was lucky for the family,” said Ted. “That’s why we never ate her.”
A cow rampage
Residents of a small village in England’s West Country were left bemused when a gang of cows outwitted a farmer and wreaked havoc at the village fete in December 1999. Farmer Jerry Danson had been in his cow field when one of his cows approached him walking with a limp. Concerned that the cow had been in a cow fight, Farmer Jerry opened the gate and led the cow out of the field away from the other cows. The rest of the herd then took their cue and charged toward the gate. Before Jerry realized what was going on, the entire herd of 112 cows had escaped and was making its way to the cricket field where the fete was being held.
Stunned villagers watched as the cow mob destroyed stalls, ate entries in the vegetable contest and began jumping on the bouncy castle. The cows eventually got bored and returned to their field by their own accord.
A silly cow
The first ever cow to attempt a bungee jump died after the bridge she bungeed from collapsed in April last year. Mertyl ignored the advice of friends and family and found a bungee jump company that would assist her to live achieve her lifelong dream of bungee jumping. The jump took place on a bridge over a river in New Jersey. A short bungee cord was used to allow for Mertyl’s above-human weight. After jumping from the bridge, the bungee cord extended and Mertyl approached the ground at such a rate that the entire bridge was pulled down with her, killing the cow and two other people. This was the only time a cow has ever tried to bungee jump.
Cow warfare
In March 1975, infamous cow mobster Dorris was bitten and trampled to death by members of a rival cow-mafia family in Holland. The killing marked the beginning of a bloody, 30-year battle between two cow-mafia families living in fields next to each other. The violence peaked two years ago when one cow was pushed under the wheels of a tractor. The two families decided enough was enough and signed a pact to not harm each other’s cows. Two years on and the peace remains.
This post was written by Angel
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